When my best friend Jim got married, I tricked him into thinking he and I were going golfing in North Carolina in lieu of a bachelor party nobody could afford to attend if he wanted them at the actual wedding. Of course it was a total ruse. Our final destination was Memphis where a dozen pals met up with us to “celebrate” Jim’s bachelor party at Graceland.
We stayed at the Memory Lane Inn which not only had a guitar shaped swimming pool, but 24-hour in-room Elvis movies, and every Elvis movie poster imaginable taped to the walls with blue painters masking tape. Eventually the front desk stopped taking our calls at all hours of the day requesting Change of Habit which stars Elvis, and Mary Tyler Moore playing a nun he’s sweet on. (I’m not making this up!)  ​

When we eventually got to Graceland, Jim had finally taken off the shirt I’d made him wear on the drunken flight from Charlotte to Memphis. Probably a good thing too, because it featured a black print of Elvis’s face and in neon pink, big bold letters proclaiming “I’m Dead.” No matter, we still almost got thrown out of Graceland when somebody asked one of the docents with a straight face whether the lime green shag carpet covering floor and ceiling in the Jungle Room was a rayon or poly-cotton blend. ​
One of my favorite, and less celebrated details about Graceland is the stone wall around the compound. Each stone lovingly inscribed with Elvis related graffiti. Here’s a few of the more memorable ones:  
Yesterday marked the 30th anniversary of Elvis Presley’s death. Next year we go to the polls. Seems like a good night for The Popinjays and today’s Happy Medium Song of the Day, “Vote Elvis.” A moment of silence for The King while I gulp down this deep-fried peanut butter and banana sandwich and chase it down with a Twinkie.
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